My Side of Heaven

Even in my dreams you take my hand and lead me to places where words tumble from a secret place.

You decorate and dazzle me with brilliant color and velvet texture. Falling leaves I can feel under my bare feet.

I am standing in the middle of my favorite Autumn and you know this.

“They don’t crinkle,” I say, and you ease me down until we’re lying next to each other in a blanket of color.

You gather bunches and crush them gently in the air. I smile at the crisp, cool sound and watch you carefully as you roll sideways, balance on your arm, and smile down at me,

“Tell me where you’ve been, love.”

I think of all the lost roads, and empty eyes,

of the long flights and dark corners,

and lonely rooms,

of all the change and turns into

places where things fall away, and fall apart,

and the hallways where coming undone and being uncovered

break hearts and shatter dreams

 of all the paths I’ve taken to live in faith

 how I’ve been lost in the heavy work and sorrow,

and witness

to all the pain

and to the healing that comes with surrender,

and I wonder about forgiveness, for they know not what they do

and how to give away

The joy you fill me with each day

on my side of Heaven,

and you hear this even though I don’t speak a word until I say,

“I’ve been letting go of heavy things

and I’ve been healing

spirits here and there.

Sometimes my own, sometimes another.

and tending to souls, and listening to hearts,

I can hear unspoken fears

and I address my own

and I’ve finally begun to exhale, and to breath in, and I’m learning

how to let go of so many heavy things.

But mostly…

I’ve been on my way here.

 

 

Lynnette Bukowski © 2019

Autumn Again…

You know how it is. Sometimes we plan a trip to one place, but something takes us to another.

Autum at LZ-Grace

Grace arrives

a cool ribbon

of crisp air to embrace me

like you used to do…

So for a moment

I am still wrapped

In your love

A warm blanket

between dreams and the

real wooden floor

where my bare feet

step lightly at 3:00 in the morning

and on this path

I can tip-toe my way

to the cool breeze and

breathe you in

just enough air to return to this life radiant

with the light by which I serve.

I am like the autumn leaves now,

Falling again

As though we are all passionately

In Love

with sacred ground.

September 6, 2013 © Lynnette Bukowski