grace beyond grace
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Rainy Morning Letters – Moon Dance in Baguio (revisited)
Posted on February 10, 2015 by lynnbukowski
Rainy Morning Letters – Moon Dance in Baguio (revisited).
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Miracles follow excruciating pain.
I know this to be true. #faith
##
I close my eyes at the exact moment the wheels of the plane leave the runway and let the tremendous roar and rush of power hold me against the seat. One long moment of intense anticipation that feels like us. I like it here, suspended and helpless.
It feels like our last Sunday morning.
From my place on the bed, I narrow my focus and let the bathroom doorway frame you like an object d’art. I watch you shave, content with my coffee and imagination; a story waiting to find its way to the journal on my lap.
I ask, “What does a person feel right before they surrender?”
You angle your head, pull the razor up one side of your cheek, rinse the blade and speak to the mirror, “Helpless.”
“Yes, but what does helpless feel like?”
“Wouldn’t know. Never been.”
I wait for you to finish your morning ritual before I slip off the bed, enter your kingdom and prove you wrong.
Research for a story I may never finish.
Over breakfast that morning we discussed in finite detail the difference between submitting to a lovely helplessness and feeling brutally helpless and while I try to recall our exact words, this memory leaps into another:
I’m hanging from the top edge of four-story scaffolding with hands slick from spattered paint; frozen with fear. You yell up at me, amused, “You climbed up there like a sexy cat. What’s the problem?” When I don’t answer and can’t catch my breath, your voice drops an octave, “Don’t look, just feel… hand grip, find your footing… that’s it…” I make it one story down before I slip and grab wildly and cry out. My heart beats so rapidly I think it’s moving the steel frame, but the vibration is you climbing up behind me, covering me, “Put your hand here, now here, I’ve got you, footing, again…” and your voice changes – striking and intense – Always consider your options, Lynn… you are never helpless.
Right now I am strapped to a seat in a passenger jet with a hundred other souls and what remains of your beautiful body rests on my lap in a wooden box. I cannot fly the plane and I cannot bring you back. Screw my options. If I die in a plane crash, you damn well... Read more.
Link in profile
In some other life
We are sitting
Side by side... maybe resting
maybe whispering
And laughing that, in
Some other life
We are apart.
#WarriorAngel
#TheVeilisThin
#coronadoconcertinthepark
If you are not immersed inside your story and own it, you will drown in the hustle for its worthiness. #Grace
#divein #ownit
The dogs and I watched the sun rise this morning and it made me think about how we are in the world. What if we knew what others were carrying in their hearts and minds? Would we find it easier to be kinder? So many people around us are facing loss, heartache, illness, uncertainty & pain. Some are lost in grief or loneliness or depression or all of it combined. Maybe we can go about our daily lives and keep all those we care about and many we don’t even know..... in our hearts, even for a moment of prayer. We can still go on, love with our whole hearts, compose music, take care of children, make art, nurse the dying, ride horses, write words, share beauty, cry together, make meals, laugh together, grow food, clean the bathroom, clean barn stalls, knit sweaters, dance, but we can do it all and keep kindness close and real in this full, deep, messy, sacred Life.
#LZGrace
#SayAPrayer
#bekindalways
Promise me you will not spend so much time trying to keep your head above the waves that you truly forget how much you love to swim.
#grateful🙏
#livefully
#dream
I still believe love, gentleness and faith can change the world one unseen unsung unrewarded kindness at a time.
#GraceRising
#LZGraceWarriorRetreat
#grateful🙏
#Believe
You continue to move me – to want more, to offer more, to do more. I continue to be ready to support as needed when you are ready.
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